I was struck by something when I mentored a middle schooler who had received a “promise” scholarship for college tuition – and came from a family
where no one had ever gone to college much less graduated. One of the activities was to visit a college campus. Tonnie was awestruck – but not overwhelmed. His first and lasting impression was, “these kids are just like me”. That was perfect! If your world has never included any time on a college campus, around college students, or walking around a campus, college may appear to be totally out of reach. I think of this as a corollary to the “Imposter Syndrome”, call it the “Unseen Destination” syndrome.
How on earth can I graduate from an institution that I know nothing about – I’ve been told how important it is, that only smart people get to go there, but I have no idea what it takes to get through. Unlike some friends whose parents are college graduates and hear constant support that they’re going to college, I’m navigating to an unseen destination.
There are a lot of supports that the organizations I work with provide first generation college students – financial (scholarships) and counseling support, tutoring, mentoring, adult reinforcement, and, of course, campus visits. While more subtle, this final – the campus visit – may be the most critical as it establishes the mindset and shines a light on that unseen destination.
Now think about your life journey; how often have you had to navigate to an unseen destination? I know I’ve done it many times and usually only realized it in retrospect. The first time was HARD. I think as we get to more of these unseen destinations, we build the confidence that we will get to the next.
I’ve been fortunate to navigate to many unseen destinations professionally, but it’s played a part in the rest of my life as well. I know if someone told me 20 years ago that I’d travel to almost a dozen countries to run trail ultramarathons I’d wonder what they were smoking. The first was by far the most difficult due to uncertainty (and later ones weren’t “easy”, but they had less of that hidden element).
I often think back to the “aha moment” when Tonnie figured out that he could navigate to his first hidden destination. That’s defined his life now professionally as well as personally. Is your journey providing those opportunities to extend yourself by taking the trail to those unseen destinations?
